I think the universe is trying to tell me something....

I've been doing massage for six years. I love it.  I feel like I help people when I can get those tense muscles to relax, and when I have people tell me that their massage was amazing etc. I give of myself in a lot of my treatments, and it can be taxing on me.

It seems lately like the physical toll is catching up with me. I'm always tired, grumpy, and have way more anxiety attacks, nightmares, and fights with my husband.

I might have stated before about my husband's dislike of my career choice, and for the most part, and as much as I hate to say it, he's right. I hate being an independent contractor, it's not that steady, and most of the people I work for are flighty, and rude.

So, I think it's time soon for me to change careers.  I have no idea what I want to do next. Well, actually, I have some ideas.  Teaching Massage, or working in Spa Management would be cool.  Maybe I should jump fields entirely, and get into something like event planning, or working more of an office job.

 I did some volunteer work back in the day with a non-profit with their event planning, and I loved it. I was on the committee for a black tie gala, and helped run the program, down to helping in the office with paperwork and filing etc. Of course, I did this eight or nine years ago. Everyone I worked with is somewhere else, and I have no clue how to get back into that field.  This was also in Orange County, by the way.

I went thru a range of emotions just writing this post. I was at first upset, since my back is messed up, then relieved because I haven't been able to talk about this without causing a problem, and now depressed because I have no effing clue what I am going to do now.

So, there you go...I think the universe is telling me it's time to move on to something better, like being a housewife. ;)

Why I hate sports..or my dislike of the Stanley Cup Finals

Growing up, I watched a lot of ESPN. During family gatherings I would sit in my grandparent's bedroom and watch TV. I watched everything, and enjoyed it thoroughly. I would pretend I was Chick Hearn, and do play by play of recess basketball games.

As a teenager, I wasn't allowed to watch MTV, so I watched sports.  When I was in high school, I had wanted  to become a sports writer.  I also developed my love for hockey.  I started following the Anaheim (mighty)Ducks, and soon became an obsessed fan.

I lost my passion in or around 2007, when the Ducks won the Cup.  I think that was more of less due to my ex, and also because I felt like I was growing out of that phase of my life.

This year, I didn't watch many games, but I did follow online, I interact with other fans on twitter, and I do sometimes have a desire to go and see a game in person.  Two teams that I have some ties to, and also loathe are in the Finals.

Los Angeles Kings

Ah, the older, and grumpier cousin team. In forty five years, they've made the finals twice.  (We did it in less than 20)  Their fans are loud, rude and for the most part, ignorant.  There are nice King fans, and there are idiot Duck fans, but they are in the minority.  I really have no problem with this team, and I am somewhat partial to them.

New Jersey Devils

Ah, my ex-boyfriend team. The team I used to follow back in the 90's, had my heart broken in '03, but still held on.  The ex got them in the divorce, and I moved some of my allegiance to the rival Rangers, and  down to Carolina.  Much like the Kings, I have no problem with the team themselves, just those fans that ruin things for everyone else.

Who to root for?

Nobody, but it looks like LA is going to win it all. Good for them, but remember you came in second to the team created from a child's movie.

Death is not meant for the living....

The title was quoted to me from a co-worker the other day.

As stated in my last post, my best friend passed away about a year ago now. This last Sunday would have been her birthday. Last year on that date, Myself, along with her two other good friends met up for drinks and to reminisce.

 This year, said friends were doing life affirming things like looking at housing with their spouse, or losing weight to not fall into the same predicament our friend was in.

 I had spent it alone for the most part, in my own mourning.


I found out last Tuesday that my beloved great-uncle passed away. It's still a sore subject for me.

He moved up to my hometown when I was about 7 or 8, and was always there for me. if I had to be picked up from school, he would come in his red Jeep, with his dog in the passenger seat.  He would always have Ding Dongs in his fridge, even after being diagnosed as a diabetic.

He lived alone, and liked it that way. When I grew up, I would try and see him at least every two weeks. After his sister, my grandmother died, I made more of an effort.

I got one last picture with him back in December. I might not look the greatest, but I am so happy have this memory.

I love you Uncle Robert, and I'm going to miss you. A lot!!

One Year Later

It's been one year since well I guess you could have called her my Best Friend Stephanie passed away.

I wish she was here to sneer about the Kings being in the Conference Finals, or throwing me the Hangover-style bachelorette party we were talking about. She would also be laughing that FiFi is an Islander, and doing VERY well out there.

She would probably be reading the 50 shades series, and thinking she could write better.

A few days after she passed on, I went to Disneyland, a place that was sacred to both of us, and went to her favorite attraction, Tom Sawyer's Island.  When i got off the boat, a Duck all of a sudden decided to try and land on me. The Cast Member at the dock, and the guests around me could not believe what they saw.  I was shaken, but I had wanted to continue on exploring.

I explored the whole island, and I admit, I got lost a couple of times. It was so much fun, and something I wish we had done more often.

There was a graveyard on the island, or it's supposed to be one. I drew her name, and to rest in peace in the area over there.  I had felt so peaceful after I did that, like I was supposed to have done it.

Trader Sam's wasn't open at the time, but when I got back to my apartment, I had a Washington Apple, the drink we had in Vegas when I got wasted out there last time.

I miss this woman so much. She never got to meet my husband, but I'm sure she would have liked him. She truly was my best friend, and the one person I could talk to about anything.

I look forward to the day when I can see her again.

All good things

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

 Nelly Furtado.

Oh don't worry the blog isn't ending. Other things in my life have though The chiropractor laid me off a couple weeks ago. They said it was due to the season ending.  It's possible; since the work kind of has dried up. (Sadly, when it does his 100 degrees out here, as it has for the last month, the snowbirds leave en masse, and most of the year rounders aren't going to leave the house.) but I think it had more to do with not kissing their rears, and maybe even looking outside this valley for work.

I've been doing more of the mobile massage work, and even my private clients.  I'm starting to wonder if I should look into another field, or maybe take my massage skills and look into Spa Management, or teaching Massage Ethics.   I applied for a Spa Manager position, and was declined since I did not have lifeguard training. (the Spa and Pool were under the same management umbrella...) 

I would love to stick my neck out into other areas of the state when it comes to said management skills. It would require more training, and passing the damn national exam, which would be another $225, but would help in going out of state, and could be useful. Convincing the husband might be another monster tho.

Speaking of him, he interviewed TWICE for a job out in Ontario, and we still haven't heard anything. He had an interview out here in the desert, and it well enough for a second interview tomorrow.  Cross your fingers, toes, and well, anything else to see how that goes.

If he gets this job, I don't have to work.  That would be kinda nice to be a housewife, sitting at the computer, maybe getting my stories off the ground once and for all.  Ah, wishful thinking getting to me again.  

Well, the hubs is home, so I'm gonna play good wife and sign off for now.

Here's a song from one of  my heroines.  Enjoy!

Run fatgirl run

<p>The Tinkerbell half Marathon registration opens June 12.<br>
I am motivated to do this! </p>
<p>I have been slacking on my workouts, but the last couple of times I was on the treadmill, my speeds were picking up, and so were the inclines. 
I have at least 6 months to train, and I know I can run this easier course then the August version. No running to the Ponda, but it's more in the park.

I shall watch Run Fat boy, Run staring the wonderful Simon Pegg.   Maybe watch Shaun afterwards.  :)

A letter to my 16 year old self....

(I thought this would be something fun to do. I joke that 16 year old me would be giddy when I got married.)

Dear 16 year old Dawn:

Things might not look good right now, you're in the middle of school, and trying to figure out you're life. Let me give you some insight:

You'll graduate next year, so make sure to keep going with school.  After High School might be a problem tho.

Journalism doesn't really pan out as a good major for you. College is kind of a hard thing for you too.  Don't worry, you end up working two of your dream jobs.

You work at Disneyland!!  You work there for six years off and on.  You see a new park being made, and you even get to work on the 50th birthday of the place.


Oh that place will have several memories for you!  You'll get to kiss a random guy at midnight, celebrate your first new year's eve, and you get an awesome birthday present. A walk through of the Haunted Mansion. 

Some bad things come out of it too.. you'll lose friends. Close ones. You might not be complete BFF's  with her yet, but you'll make one, and you'll live together.  You'll grow to hate each other, and one of you will have a complete breakdown (Hint, it's you)

Other friends will come and go. Some will get married, some stay home. Some move away, some pass away. (You'll really miss it when Babe passes away....just saying)

You'll find your second dream job...kinda.  You're not an athletic trainer, but you are a massage therapist.  Your former BFF went to school, and admittedly, you're jealous that she went, and you didn't back then.  However, you're making a decent living from it, and she gave the art up not long after.

You'll fall in love, A LOT.  The guy you're worshiping now...not even.  You find out he's kind of a douche.  The next one's gonna be a stalker, and will NOT leave you alone.  You'll crush on more athletes, and they're cool. You'll find some normal dudes you like too.


You'll get married.  The first one was well, he came in like a prince charming, but was really a wolf in sheep's clothing.  It'll end bad (Hint, breakdown #2)

The second one...well, he's the guy you're going to Disneyland with this summer.  You'll have fun, but grow apart, and will find each other many years later.

He's a good guy, treat him right, and it might last. he'll tell you he should have married you all those years ago. You'll remind him you wouldn't have appreciated him then as you do now (trust me, you'll appreciate him.)


So, to recap

You'll move to OC and back a couple times, make friends for life, and some you wish you never met.  Remember to pack for long road trips, and not to drive that night (you'll understand when you're 25). 

Don't regret a thing!! 

Dawn

PS. Stop drinking the Dr Pepper now....you'll be a full blown caffeine addict by 30.