Music Monday...

I love this song, and I don't have much else. Went to a company dinner, and had a couple martini's.   :)

A great workout song!!!

Daft Punk - Harder Better Faster

I didn't realize how strange this video is, but I LOVE this song right now, or anything by them really. Enjoy!

The Climb. A story about a story.

I went back to my parents' house yesterday. It helped with the inspiration for my story.  Parts of it take place in my hometown, and it was nice to go back and get that inspiration and to reminisce of sorts. I drove all the way to Twentynine Palms and back, which gave me ideas for later scenes, and even how I want my epilogue to turn out. The drive back down the hill at night was fuel for me to add to my prologue and to set up parts of the story.

I still need a beta reader and possibly a proof reader. That's a pretty big task, since I want to finish this first before I let other eyes read this. 

I read the version I had from when I was nineteen and oh my goodness it made me laugh so much. It was blatantly obvious who I was talking about character wise, and the plot was just so laughable.  I think this story will blow my original out of the water.

I hope to have another thousand or so words done today.  I would love having this out of the way before NaNoWriMo so I can once and for all get my other thriller out and on the screen.

Anyhoo, the title of this blog came from the amazing song by No Doubt. Amazing song by amazing band at an amazing show.  I might even make the title of my book Tragic Kingdom....well here's a live version of this song.  :)

Back, forth and back again

I've been on a roller coaster of emotions the last few weeks.

Work is entering it's stressful time. The book is about to close, and everyone's stress level including mine is at its highest.  It reminds me why I hated working at an office environment.
I hate retail with a passion. I also think retail out here just plain sucks.

I'm seriously considering going back to Massage Therapy again.  I loved doing it, but it took its toll on me. Turned out that physical toll is/was heart related.  Now I have a clean bill of health, I think I can do it again, and not feel so exhausted.  There are a few problems with it though.  My license and insurance have expired.  My mom said she would help with any of those obstacles, including paying for the National Exam. ($200, $200 and $225 respectively)

Hubby isn't exactly the most supportive of my massage work, and I can't completely blame him. Massage work out here, and probably anywhere else is a streaky kind of racket. You can work at a spa, where you're low person on the totem pole, get the crappy hours and have a client tell you you were wonderful to your face, and tell your manager that it was the worst massage ever.  You could work at one of those "Spa Clinic" places that advertises a cheap massage, and does a good job in promoting to the masses.  I even worked at one of those places. I actually enjoyed it there, but they have a tendency to ride you hard there. I was doing 6-7 massages a day, and thanks to my living situation at the time, not a lot of sleep.  Chiropractors offices and Physical therapy offices can sometimes see you like an annoying fly buzzing around, or they want you to whore yourself out to boost sales.

Alright enough about that.  Hubby's unemployed again.  That's just so frustrating to me that I won't get into the details about that. Just know that I'm not a happy camper right now.

Also on a related note, my sister filed for divorce.  I love my sister, and I love my soon to be brother in law, so it makes the situation awkward for me.

Being divorced myself, I have volunteered my support for my sister from an arm's length (or about 50 miles...) I know what she's going through, and she seems to be reacting the same way I did when I was going thru mine.  Sometimes it's just better to let someone do their thing, make their mistakes and deal with the consequences.

Speaking of consequences, I dumped a handful of friends from my social networks. Most were friends of friends, or people who still talk to or connected to my ex husband.  Others are old friends who have drifted away.  Sometimes you think you have something in common, only to find that you're just different people, or that they just don't want to be your friend, and only be there when they need you. I'm at the point in my life when I decided that if you want to be my friend, it has to work both ways.

This brings me to my writing.  I think I might just lock myself in the other room right now and try to iron out some details of my stories. I have some writing energy, and a friend I can bounce ideas off of.....and I'm gonna send "Escape" to NaNoWriMo again this year.

Alright, my ipod is playing Natalia Kills...That's my cue to start writing my novel.

I'll try and blog more too!

Making changes

I'm gonna be making some changes to the blog (title, and design mainly.)  Any and all suggestions are welcome.

I've been slowly getting back on track with my writing.  I've realized that I've become a visual writer, or a writer that sees the scene playing out in their mind, and then freaks out because the timing of everything is all so wrong compared to now.  Example of that being, part of my story that I'm working on takes place at a very famous theme park which has been remodeled since I started writing this story.  It makes writing the scene harder.  I wanted my story to take place in 2006, but it's hard to when things are so different now.

My other story, which was a series I wrote with an old friend is also stuck. I can't write my MC without her sounding so vapid and conceited.  Again, changes in the last few years, including technology, and locations.

I think a writing retreat is in order.  I'm thinking Vegas since that is where my stories have some scenes.  Maybe San Diego....

Digging Up my Roots

When I was in the hospital, my condition was complicated by a simple truth.

I'm adopted, and don't know my family history.

Every nurse, and doctor in the hospital that treated me had asked if I knew if there was a family history of heart problems, or ulcers, or anything that could explain my condition. All I could do was shake my head and cry.

It brought me back to something I had been pondering since I was eighteen.  Should I look for my birth parents? 

My(adopted) parents have always been my parents, my support system and well my parents!! I always knew I was adopted, and my parents told me that there was nothing wrong with that. My mom would buy my sister and I Cabbage Patch Dolls because you "adopted" them.  Mom also told me that I couldn't look for my birth parents because she didn't want someone else to take me away. I later found out that something similar happened to them before I was born. The birth mother came back for their child....

The social worker who had worked on my case had prepared a book that I read all the time, and gave a very very vague history of my birth parents.

When I turned eighteen, finding my birth parents was of no concern to me.  I had turned out pretty decent, except for having wonky knees. Throughout my adulthood,  the thought had crossed my mind, but I never really thought anything of it.   Steph was adopted, and met her birth mom and sister before she passed away. I thought about it, but I remember what my mom had said, and I would let it go...

So the heart attack brought that thought up to the surface. I was concerned about my health, and truly wondered if I could have a disposition to other illnesses or defects. Also I wonder if I have brothers or sisters out there.

One day in February, I pulled Mom aside, and I had explained my situation, and that I wanted to look for my birth parents.  I was expecting her to break down and cry, or get overly emotional She wasn't. She was actually surprised that I was asking for her okay, and that it was for the selfish medical reason, and not any other selfish reason.


Here's my first attempt to get any info.  This is all I know really:

I was born January 8, 1980 at about 1030 am at Kaiser Hospital in Fontana.
My mom and dad were 20 at the time.
They named me Donna.

If you can help, please leave me a message.

thanks

More apologies, and regrets

So much has changed since February, and yet things feel so stagnant.   Again, I feel bad for disappointing you guys and girls.

I'm trying not to make this an update post, but I have a feeling it will be. My apologies in advance.

First and foremost, I have a new car!! It's sad that I'm 33 and this is my first car, but so be it. It's a Hyundai Elantra, and its such an upgrade...

I'm still working where I am. It's a media company specializing in the phone book. It's a fun job, but can be stressful and boring at the same time.  It's a long term temp assignment, so I keep looking elsewhere.

Dad had his surgery at the end of March.  It turned out to be a quadruple bypass, but he came out of it like a pro. He's been slowly returning back to his normal life, which relieves me so much.

I've been given a clean bill of health from my Cardiologist.  I'm still on some meds, but my hope is to be off one or two by the end of the year.

Not much else going on sadly.  I go to the gym three days a week, and I try and write as much as I can.

Hubby is still looking for work.  Damn this economy!!

I'll have another thought provoking post later...I just had to get this junk off my chest.